Love...Part 1

Someone asked me the other day, "How did you know that your husband was 'the one'?" It’s simple really. He’s the only person that I can truly be myself around. It doesn’t matter if I am serious one minute or being silly the next. He just lets me be me. And I love that about him.

I dated all kinds of guys before I met my hubby. The jocks, the class clown, musicians, potheads, skater dudes. But I’ve only really ever been in love twice in my life. Once with Eddie (ok, his name isn’t Eddie, but I will refer to him as Eddie because 1) if you know me...you know who Eddie is 2) If you don't know me, you don't really need to know Eddie's real name and 3) I truly believe he thought he was Eddie Vedder.) :) And the other is my hubby (I'll get to him in Part 2).

I met Eddie when I was 16. I still remember that first day he came up to my door. I lied and said it was my birthday. He brought over a cute little teddy bear for me. I felt so bad. I had to tell him the truth the next day. We never actually dated until after high school. He lived nearby so we hung out a lot after school. I thought he was cute…but he wasn’t my type. He was (sorry Ed) somewhat of a loser in my eyes, but I guess that’s what intrigued me about him. He was my exact opposite. After I graduated from high school, I called Ed up one day. I had full intentions of setting him up with one of my girlfriends. But after not seeing him for a year, I decided I had to have him for myself. We dated off and on for a little over two years. And I mean off and on. We broke up so many times, I lost count. We would still hang out and fool around even when we weren’t “officially” together. Eddie was the first guy I really fell hard for. We both thought that we would get married someday and we had made plans to get an apartment together. I guess that’s why it was really hard on me when we broke up. Looking back at it now, I'm glad that we never got that apartment. It probably would have been a disaster. We were both so young at the time.

Side note: Hmmm Black just came on the radio, while writing this…how appropriate.

If you’ve read my 100 TAM post, then you know that I believe that once you love someone, you always love them. It’s the way you love them that changes. So, I guess you could say, I still love Ed. Not in that "I want you" way. Just in that "I care about what happens to him and hope he is doing well and happy in life" way. It’s fun to reminisce with him about the good times and all of the stupid things we did. The reason I feel this way is because although Ed wasn’t the right person for me to spend the rest of my life with, there are many things that I learned from Eddie that are still with me today. I learned how to not be so shy. It was with Eddie that I discovered my love for seeing bands play live. We went to so many awesome concerts together! I also learned the importance of being yourself. You see he was so different from me that at times, I thought I needed to be more like him. I went from being prissy into the whole grunge thing. I’m not sure if that was due to Ed, or just the 90’s in general. But the truth is…he already liked me for me. I shouldn’t have been trying to change for him. But live and learn. In the end, disaster and all. I wouldn’t change a thing. It’s all a learning experience, right? And if I didn’t have those experiences I wouldn’t be able to appreciate all that I have today.

Oh, and in Ed’s defense. I don’t think of him as a loser anymore. In fact, he’s a pretty talented photographer. He's come a long way from taking pictures of "Trees & Stuff."