Job Application Questionnaire/What I wish I could write :)
What is your vision for education?
Learning is the key to success. Education has been very valuable to me. Science taught me how to grow the weed. My math skills helped me to distribute it in the proper quantities and charge accordingly. My Junior Achievement skills taught me how to market my product. And with physics I learned how to build the pipe in which to smoke it.
How well can you judge character? How do you know whether your judgements are correct?
I can look at someone and can instantly tell if they are good in bed. Then, I sleep with them to verify that I am correct.
Should you have close relationships with those with whom you work?
Yes, very intimate. The more intimate the better. A teacher's salary only goes so far.
Would you please describe how you delegate?
I tell you what to do, and you do it. "You will respect my authoritor!"
How important are rules in managing a school? To what extent shoud rules be followed?
Rules suck. I live for anarchy.
What are the best ways to motivate employees?
In the past, I have found that bribes and sexual favors are usually the way to go.
Once you have set your goals, how do you (would you) get your employees to achieve them?
Once again, bribes and sexual favors are the way to go.
Do you like to view yourself as a community leader?
I see myself as more of a creative director. I come up with the great ideas, but I will let someone else take the lead once the idea is out there. I find I can still contribute to the team but at the same time put out minimal effort. Since ideas come easily to me, and I find this to be my best course of action.
If you were to select the team to help you lead a school or a task force, how would you choose them?
First, I would pick my friends: those who are the most fun to work with, great in the sack, etc. Next I would choose the good looking people that I would like to get to know. I always choose 2 people who know what they are doing, after all someone has to get the work done.
How do you develop confidence in the people with whom you work?
I tell them they are/would be great in the sack. This gets their brain pumping which creates a productive team.
Please add anything else that you think would help us know you better.
Attached to my resume is a nude photo of myself along with my measurements.
Learning is the key to success. Education has been very valuable to me. Science taught me how to grow the weed. My math skills helped me to distribute it in the proper quantities and charge accordingly. My Junior Achievement skills taught me how to market my product. And with physics I learned how to build the pipe in which to smoke it.
How well can you judge character? How do you know whether your judgements are correct?
I can look at someone and can instantly tell if they are good in bed. Then, I sleep with them to verify that I am correct.
Should you have close relationships with those with whom you work?
Yes, very intimate. The more intimate the better. A teacher's salary only goes so far.
Would you please describe how you delegate?
I tell you what to do, and you do it. "You will respect my authoritor!"
How important are rules in managing a school? To what extent shoud rules be followed?
Rules suck. I live for anarchy.
What are the best ways to motivate employees?
In the past, I have found that bribes and sexual favors are usually the way to go.
Once you have set your goals, how do you (would you) get your employees to achieve them?
Once again, bribes and sexual favors are the way to go.
Do you like to view yourself as a community leader?
I see myself as more of a creative director. I come up with the great ideas, but I will let someone else take the lead once the idea is out there. I find I can still contribute to the team but at the same time put out minimal effort. Since ideas come easily to me, and I find this to be my best course of action.
If you were to select the team to help you lead a school or a task force, how would you choose them?
First, I would pick my friends: those who are the most fun to work with, great in the sack, etc. Next I would choose the good looking people that I would like to get to know. I always choose 2 people who know what they are doing, after all someone has to get the work done.
How do you develop confidence in the people with whom you work?
I tell them they are/would be great in the sack. This gets their brain pumping which creates a productive team.
Please add anything else that you think would help us know you better.
Attached to my resume is a nude photo of myself along with my measurements.
posted by Bashful Blue at 11:31 PM
3 Comments:
Sexual favors would be awesome. I think we've all wanted to fill out a questionaire like this, before.
Good show!
Oh, and I'll also be needing a copy of the nude photo and measurements. For education and stuff.
Officially blog rolled. Hmm? Not sure what that means really. Sounds kinky. Does it involve gifts of any kind? I like presents. :)
Thanks Ed.
Ok, Shanshu wins the autographed photo. Why? Because he added the "and stuff" to his comment. That phrase always makes me smile.
Um Dan? Why is when I go to your blog. My computer starts downloading some ummm questionable material. Hmm?
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