Love...Part 1

Someone asked me the other day, "How did you know that your husband was 'the one'?" It’s simple really. He’s the only person that I can truly be myself around. It doesn’t matter if I am serious one minute or being silly the next. He just lets me be me. And I love that about him.

I dated all kinds of guys before I met my hubby. The jocks, the class clown, musicians, potheads, skater dudes. But I’ve only really ever been in love twice in my life. Once with Eddie (ok, his name isn’t Eddie, but I will refer to him as Eddie because 1) if you know me...you know who Eddie is 2) If you don't know me, you don't really need to know Eddie's real name and 3) I truly believe he thought he was Eddie Vedder.) :) And the other is my hubby (I'll get to him in Part 2).

I met Eddie when I was 16. I still remember that first day he came up to my door. I lied and said it was my birthday. He brought over a cute little teddy bear for me. I felt so bad. I had to tell him the truth the next day. We never actually dated until after high school. He lived nearby so we hung out a lot after school. I thought he was cute…but he wasn’t my type. He was (sorry Ed) somewhat of a loser in my eyes, but I guess that’s what intrigued me about him. He was my exact opposite. After I graduated from high school, I called Ed up one day. I had full intentions of setting him up with one of my girlfriends. But after not seeing him for a year, I decided I had to have him for myself. We dated off and on for a little over two years. And I mean off and on. We broke up so many times, I lost count. We would still hang out and fool around even when we weren’t “officially” together. Eddie was the first guy I really fell hard for. We both thought that we would get married someday and we had made plans to get an apartment together. I guess that’s why it was really hard on me when we broke up. Looking back at it now, I'm glad that we never got that apartment. It probably would have been a disaster. We were both so young at the time.

Side note: Hmmm Black just came on the radio, while writing this…how appropriate.

If you’ve read my 100 TAM post, then you know that I believe that once you love someone, you always love them. It’s the way you love them that changes. So, I guess you could say, I still love Ed. Not in that "I want you" way. Just in that "I care about what happens to him and hope he is doing well and happy in life" way. It’s fun to reminisce with him about the good times and all of the stupid things we did. The reason I feel this way is because although Ed wasn’t the right person for me to spend the rest of my life with, there are many things that I learned from Eddie that are still with me today. I learned how to not be so shy. It was with Eddie that I discovered my love for seeing bands play live. We went to so many awesome concerts together! I also learned the importance of being yourself. You see he was so different from me that at times, I thought I needed to be more like him. I went from being prissy into the whole grunge thing. I’m not sure if that was due to Ed, or just the 90’s in general. But the truth is…he already liked me for me. I shouldn’t have been trying to change for him. But live and learn. In the end, disaster and all. I wouldn’t change a thing. It’s all a learning experience, right? And if I didn’t have those experiences I wouldn’t be able to appreciate all that I have today.

Oh, and in Ed’s defense. I don’t think of him as a loser anymore. In fact, he’s a pretty talented photographer. He's come a long way from taking pictures of "Trees & Stuff."

Just so the world knows....

...how much of a dork I am.

I can't believe I'm going to write this but, who really cares anyway.

I was about to log off my computer and for some strange reason. I just start spontaneously singing...Hangin' Tough by the New Kids on the Block. I have no clue where that even came from, but now you know. And maybe, just maybe, your singing now too! :)

Update: The New Kids have left the building....they have been replaced with Right Here...by Staind.....and Got the Life....by Korn. :)

Fun Day

I had a great day today. I went to a friend's house for a day of stamping. We had so much fun. We made some cards, a few cute little gift things, and just had a good time. Sometimes I can't believe that we actually make money doing what we do. It's just too fun! To me the money is just a bonus. I love to make cards...so it never feels like work.

Hubby has a volleyball game tonight. So he won't be home for a few hours. I think I'll go find myself a good chick flick to watch before he gets home. :)

Life

I haven't posted much lately. Life just gets in the way. I've had a lot going on these past few weeks. Right now, I'm just hanging out with the hubby watching The Breakfast Club. I haven't seen this movie in so long.

I was going to write about something else....but I forgot what it was. I hate it when that happens. Oh well, maybe I'll remember later.

Home Sweet Home

I'm finally back home. Wow, what a week. I had so much fun. It was great spending time with the girls from Austin. Salt Lake City is beautiful. I loved watching the sunrise/set over the mountains. Just beautiful. I can't wait until we go back next year!

I was exhausted when I got home yesterday. Hubby picked me up from the airport and then we picked up a pizza on the way home. Yummy! Hubby hooked up the camera to the TV and I was showing him all of the pics I took. I fell asleep around 8 last night (while hubby was looking at the pics) and slept until 9 this morning. It felt so good to sleep in my own bed. :)

This is all for now. I still need to unpack my bags.

Leaving town tomorrow on a business trip. I'll be back on Sunday. I'm very excited. I always have fun. Have a good week.

Is your mommy home?

I get phone calls every day from solicitors. Today I had something happen that hasn't happened in awhile. Mostly due to the fact that I don't answer the phone unless I know who's calling. But today I just picked it up without checking the caller id. The lady asked to speak to The Hubby. I said he wasn't in. Then she asked if me if my mommy was home? I just about lost it. It took all I had not to start laughing on the phone. My friend JC was here and she saw me trying hard not to laugh. Then she heard me say....no she's not here. And then I pretended to take a message. JC asked who that was...I told her it was a solicitor and she wanted to speak to my mommy. Then we both just cracked up laughing.

Same shit, different day, bigger pile

I stole the title of this post from Rich. Well, actually he said I could borrow it. Bonus. :)

Anyway, it pretty much sums up how I've been feeling lately. I have all this crap to get done, and I've just been so unmotivated to get any of it done. It just keeps piling up. I guess I haven't been too worried because deep down, I know it will all get done. It has to.

What's crazy is that some of the things on my to-do list are things that under normal circumstances I love to do. But for some strange reason when something turns into a have to-do instead of a want to-do, I lack motivation.

About an hour ago, I discovered I forgot a friends birthday on Monday. And another one today. Geez, I feel horrible. To top it off they are husband and wife. Double whammy. I don't even know if he reads this thing. But just in case... Sorry Daniel.

I've sort of been slacking in the phone call department, too. I like to talk, big surprise, but I haven't been returning phone calls lately. It's mostly due to laziness. Sorry. The phone will ring and if I don't get to it before the machine picks up....I think to myself....I'll just check the message later and call back. Well, I get started doing other things and before I know it I have 10 messages to check and then feel too lazy to go through them all. Or when I remember to call someone back it's too late and I think I don't want to bother them. My cell phone has been on silent for days....so that explains why I haven't picked it up. My other excuse is I keep it in my purse all the time, so I usually don't hear it ring. I have a gazillion emails to go through. My inbox looks crazy. I 'm tempted to just delete them all, but I won't because I might miss something good.

Despite all of this, I've been having a pretty good time lately. Procrastinating can be quite fun. I never knew that abandoning all responsiblity for a week could be so refreshing. I've been listening to good music, trying some new alcohol combinations (Vodka w/apple pucker= delicious, Vodka w/cherry pucker=cough syrup, not so good), searched the entire internet, & even learned a little html. But tomorrow it's back to the real world. Wish me luck.

Pic of the day

This is my pic of the day. Sent to me by Matt. Poor penguin, looks so sad. I think it's because he knows that he's in a band that sucks. Anyway, I'm in a crazy ass mood today. I have lots to do, so I better go.

Update: The time is now, 4:40 p.m. and I still have yet to get anything worthwhile accomplished today. I think I'll get to work now. Well, maybe in a few more minutes.

Wonka Cakes...

These things are evil. I seriously think the purple filling is made with crack. I bought these on Sunday. The box now resides in my trash. I ate 4 of them yesterday. (No wonder, I wasn't hungry for dinner.) It seemed like every couple of hours...there I was back at the pantry...looking to get another one. I know your thinking wow...these must be good. Not really. I think they fill the middle with crack...so you'll want to go back for more. Maybe that's why I have a headache today. I'm going through crack withdrawl.

5 years ago today...

my hubby proposed to me. He brought home a little present in honor of the occassion. I love surprises!

May I have your attention please?

Ok...people. Listen to me closely......Update your blogs. I can not procrastinate properly if I have nothing to read. :-)

Thank you.

The Cure

I've been on this Cure kick all day yesterday and today. So, I've just got to say....

The Cure...Head on the Door is my favorite Cure album. I love every song on this cd. Especially, Six Different Ways & Kyoto Song. I once dated a guy who said I wasn't a true fan unless I had this one. He bought it for me...and I've been hooked ever since.

I didn't take these pics. I umm 'borrowed' them. I found these on the net. From a Boston show.
But pretty much saw the same stuff. Right down to the shirt. Nice shirt, huh?

I like this one.

Billy

This is probably the best picture I got all night. :-( I took it with my phone at 2:00 in the morning outside of the club. So, it's not the best quality pic. It was a fun show. The lights were spectacular. He had a screen behind him with lots of little squares. Very cool. Small club, very intimate. Those are always the best kinds of shows (to me anyway). The opening bands were The Crimea & Doris Henson. Well I need to get some sleep now. I'm exhausted.

Woo hoo

I just got 2 tickets to the sold out, Billy Corgan show tonight! Guess, I need to go get ready. :-)

F*ck

Being the strange bird that I am, I found myself thinking (scary thought, isn't it?). What's your favorite bad word? Mine is the word fuck. To be more exact, it's fucker. I say it all the time, not in a mean way. Usually it comes out like this "What do you want to do tonight, fucker." Or what ever else I can add it to at the end of a sentence. When you think about it, it's a pretty effective word. If your upset you can say 'fuck off', if your horny it's 'fuck me'. You can use it to describe something 'that's fucking awesome'. I crack the hubby up. He laughs everytime I cuss. So do my friends, but only after they get over the initial shock, that sweet me is capable of uttering such words.

London

I woke up this morning as usual, hubby had been up for a while. He looked at me, told me he loved me and warned me that if I turned on the TV, there would be disturbing news today. He told me what happened in London.

I do not react well to bad news. So today, I have great sadness in my heart. I am sad for the victims and their families/friends. I'm sad, yet at the same time angry. I can't figure out why or how people can be so hateful.

We were able to talk to our friends in London this morning on the telephone. They are well. Shaken up, but not hurt.

I am very thankful for that.

Jealousy

I was talking with an old friend yesterday. Ok, an ex-boyfriend. I don't like that term though. Makes it sound like we broke up recently. It's been years. Anyway, he frequently asks me if it is weird for me, talking to him when my hubby is here. I guess it's weird for him or he wouldn't keep mentioning it. Right?

Well, the whole conversation got me thinking about what makes people jealous. My hubby is the type of guy that just doesn't get jealous. Or so I thought, I asked him this morning. He kind of explained it to me this way. He says he sometimes get jealous...but it only lasts for a moment. He doesn't dwell on things. And this isn't about the ex, this is about anything. So then I asked him how he felt about me talking with my 'old friend' . He told me he doesn't get jealous about that. I thought 'wow', how can he do that. I think, I know if the situation were reversed I would probably be a little jealous. And that got me to thinking about why people get jealous...

I think people get jealous when they feel like they can't measure up to the other person. It could be about materialistic things, or traits that a person has. Basically, anything someone else has that you want... maybe for some reason they feel like they won't ever have/can't achieve what someone else has.

In my opinion, it's not worth it to be a jealous person. Time would be better served trying to achieve those goals. Instead of worrying about what someone else has/does. I think I lost my original point somewhere in here. I guess that's enough for now.

Motivation

So, everyone has been asking, "When are you going to make some cards?" I will soon. I just need to clean all of the crap off of my desk first. It's hard to be creative when your desk looks like this. I really can't believe I posted this pic. I usually don't allow anyone to see my mess. It's pretty embarrassing. So, hopefully this will motivate me to clean it today. That and the fact that I'll be in the office all day downloading songs to my ipod. I have to redo the whole thing. A few weeks ago hubby deleted all my music off his computer. He didn't think it needed to be there since it was on my ipod already. Oh well. Live and Learn.

Wednesday

Good Morning! I woke up way to early this morning (around 6:30). I usually crawl out of bed somewhere between 8 and 9. Since my day just started I don't really have much to say. Will post later.

I did download AIM last night. My username is in my profile.

Just checking in to say...

I had a really nice 3 day weekend. Spent time with friends & family, saw lots of fireworks.

I'm not really in the mood to write anything today. I have a lot on my mind, but I don't want to take the time to type it.

For Rob...

My friend Napoleon has a question for you.

Sorry, dumb I know, but after reading your post. I just couldn't resist. :-)

Hope you feel better soon.

???

I finally mangaged to go to bed around 3:30. I woke up about 15 minutes ago. I probably wouldn't be posting right now, but I am shocked by what my mother-in-law just said. She called to say hi and see how we were doing. But then asked to speak to the hubby, I told her he was still asleep. Then she says"What did you do, wear him out last night?" I was absolutely speechless! What do think she meant by that? Of course my mind went straight in the gutter and I quickly replied. "We had a friend over so we stayed up pretty late." What was I supposed to say? "Yeah, your son, sure does know how to please a woman." She's my mother-in-law, that's just sick. Anyway in hubby's condition, there was absolutely no action going on anyway. I was to busy laughing at him, because he was acting so silly. Poor guy isn't feeling to well today. He drank way to much last night.

Saturday

Today was fun. Sat around and watched some of the Live8 coverage. I really enjoyed Pink Floyd & Linkin Park w/Jay-Z.

My friend Jesscia came over around 7. We went out to dinner and then came back to my house to do a little drinking and play some cards. We had fun watching my hubby get smashed. He's such a happy drunk. It was fun watching him dance. :-) Other than that nothing else happened. It's almost 2 so I should probably get some sleep soon. I'm just not really tired yet.

I had the best time!

Tonight was so much fun. We went to The Polyphonic Spree show and it was awesome! Most of you know I am the biggest Tripping Daisy fan ever and Tim's new band is the Polyphonic Spree. The last time I saw them play was about 3 or 4 years ago and I remember I couldn't get that into because it was so different from TD. But tonight was the best. We were outside under the stars, listening to music, drinking a little vodka w/apple pucker, hanging out with some fun people, and got to see a few fireworks while they closed the show. I'm probably making no sense right now, but that's ok. I had a blast and that's all I really care about right now. I took a few pictures and will upload those in the morning.

How quickly things change.

This morning it was sunny and 91 degrees. Now it's dark, windy, thundering and 82 degrees. What happened?

So please, cross your fingers, say a prayer, whatever it is that you do, for the sky to be clear tonight. I want to see some fireworks.

But please no rain dances. I was looking forward to getting out and having some fun.

I almost forgot...

Friday!

Today's going to be a good day. It's Friday. Friday's are always good. ;-) And to top it off it's a holiday weekend.

We're going to a concert tonight. That should be lots-0-fun! It's an outdoor concert so I just hope it cools off by then. It's already 91 degrees and it's not even 9 in the morning yet. Can't imagine what it's going to be this afternoon.

I hear that the boredom bug is going around. Even I had it for a little while. But I'm cured now. But for those of you that are still at home, sick, bored, & tired. Here's a website I came across last night. Should keep you busy (for a little while anyway.) For you nerdy guys, you can try to figure out how they designed it.